I have struggled with my weight since my early twenties. I have tried many diets and even had some success, but it was always short lived. After the birth of my third child my weight was at an all time high. I was disgusted at my inability to control my eating habits which drove me further into shame and food. I was using food to try and comfort my sorrows, reward my joys, and simply provide entertainment.
I confessed to my husband that I thought I might be addicted to food much like a person would be addicted to drugs. On New Years Day, one of my friends mentioned that they were starting a Bible study called the Lord's Table to try and lose some weight. I checked out the website and I felt the Holy Spirit tugging at me to move, so I did.
Through the Bible studies in The Lord's Table course, I began to understand that food had become an idol for me. I was going to food to try to satisfy my soul hunger instead of to the Lord. How grievous this must have been for Him.
Learning that what I had always joked about or excused away was actually the sin of gluttony was a tough pill to swallow. What I have learned in the Bible through the studies at The Lord's Table really goes against everything our society has to say about food and weight loss. We are taught just to focus on the right foods and live in the gym, but that is just another kind of idolatry.
Through this course, I have learned how to feed myself at His table by sitting at Jesus' feet, daily and letting the living Word of God change my heart. As my desire for Jesus has awakened, my lust for things of this word, including food, is dying. It has been a difficult journey so far. I have actually taken the course two times because at the end of my first sixty days I was still really struggling to deny my flesh. I was still listening to Satan's lies that I should be able to handle this problem on my own.
I was finally granted the gift of repentance and saw my nasty sin for what it really was. For the first time in my life as a Christ follower I understood that not only did Jesus die and pay the price for my sins so that I can be granted eternal life, but when He rose again I was also granted a new life here on earth. One that is free from the bondage of sin. Yes, I am still a sinner, but I am not held captive by my sin. I still have a way to go before the outer evidence of my soul transformation is complete, but I can praise God for that victory that I know will be won. I can step out in faith to meet Jesus. When I make Him my first love He will bring victory to me.